BOOK REVIEW – Third Culture Kids: A Gift to Care For

In this helpful book, Ulrika Ernvik uses her experiences as a TCK* and mother of TCKs, as well as her professional expertise as a psychotherapist to bring together thoughtful and practical advice surrounding the complexities of life as a Third Culture Kid.

Where other books seem to instil a sense of fear of all that could go wrong, Ernvik sees her upbringing as a TCK as “the most beautiful gift [her] parents could give.” She delves into the challenges TCKs may face but also celebrates the value the TCK identity can bring. She acknowledges that the term TCK does not define someone, yet can help them discover a bit more of who they are.

Practical advice

Chapters are short and easy to read. Each one is followed by practical activities or suggestions for TCKs themselves, their parents and others who care for them.

From a psychological perspective, Ernvik helps us consider the breadth of needs we all have and our often limited capacity to meet all those needs. She non-judgmentally considers how we deal with our emotions and suggests practical ways to deal with them. There is an illuminating section on debriefing with an abundance of questions that could help each of us reflect personally.

‘She non-judgmentally considers how we deal with our emotions and suggests practical ways to deal with them.’

‘She busts the myth that it is easier for children to adjust than adults’

Thriving as children

Ernvik’s understanding of child development and issues of belonging, attachment and independence is excellent. She busts the myth that it is easier for children to adjust than adults explaining that imitation and integration are not the same. Grief and joy that TCKs may particularly experience are expertly dealt with. She also provides a framework for planning clearly for the long-term, offering psychological and practical input on the necessary preparation for life in the passport “home” country.

Finally the book comes to focus on MKs (Mission Kids) and how being part of a faith system can give our children different questions than other expat children.

I would highly recommend this book to families at any stage of cross-cultural living as well as other workers and senders who want to know how to better support TCKs and their parents. It would be especially helpful to read in preparation for transition of any kind. In summary, this is a really high quality book full of knowledge, stories and activities to equip each reader, whatever their status, to pursue the thriving of TCKs.

 For more book reviews, see our mission resources page. 

*A TCK or Third Culture Kid is typically a child who has grown up in culture different from their parents’ home country. This gives them a blended or ‘third’ cultural identity.

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